Tipping Crooks
by Dan Senn

Click PLAY and read text aloud (see L46).
See Performance Note.



It started when
the sad sack waitress
overcharged him
at a restaurant
not far from his
Prague flat
many years ago.

The dim witted
American
had not only paid
  too much
but'd tipped the woman
on top!

As he'd left the place
he realized
what'd happened.

Looking back,
outside,
through the glass,
he saw the waitress
chuckling it up
with a co-worker.

Angry,
he resolved
never to return.

He'd vote
with his business!

A year later,
walking by
the same restaurant,
he saw the
dour waitress
and wondered
would she
screw him again?

So, he entered,
ordered the same,
was overcharged,
and tipped her
like before.

As he left,
through the glass,
there she was,
gurgling,
as happy as a spring trout
as was he.

This was the beginning
of a bi-weekly visits
where his purpose
was to cheer up
this surly waitress.

For two years
this went on
when,
suddenly
the lady,
Marketa,
charged him
 the correct amount!

He refused to tip her!

As he left,
going to his sneaky
window spot,
  there she was
smiling,
sneering
directly at him
as if to say
“Gotcha again,
you stupid Yank.”

And so
his ruse was over.

The food wasn't
that good...
and he never returned,
that is,
until recently
to find
the business
had been replaced
by a Vietnamese
non-stop.

He must be more careful
next time.

DS 071909, ©Dan Senn 2021
Přični Řez on Přična in Prague.
Restaurant was in Andél
across from Bus Stop.
Updated 102821 in Smíchov. 
BMI

Performance Note:
Read first paragraph before starting sound
and then fast enough to complete
text just after recording ends.

Dan Senn's Site